For Better For Worse

FOR BETTER FOR WORSE

" I,..., take you, ..., to be my wife (or husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow"

Do you remember when you said these words?

I do remember how happy, hopeful, and enthusiastic I was. I looked at the ring on my finger which accompanied the vows with amazement and joy. The bishop who officiated us could see my disbelief and said, “Eva it's real you just did it!” I am now married to the love of my life Moses. The marriage we prayed and waited for is finally here! I remember for the next one month every photo we took had to capture those wedding rings very well.

We all have our stories, these words are familiar to most of us and we’ve heard them said severally both before and even after we said them. Many with the dream of getting married still look forward to saying them.  During the wedding, the couple saying them may say the vows out of the excitement of the day before them, the presence of family and friends but the married people in the congregation may smile as they have an idea of what the reality of living them is.

As you journey on in the marriage you begin to realize that those vows said in the presence of many witnesses, were not just any words but will actually go a long way to keep you somehow committed especially in those worse moments which certainly come at different times, forms, and intensities.

When we first find true and first love in our relationships, when we are newly married it is wonderful and sometimes we never imagine that those worse moments come. One might even rebuke someone who tries to insinuate that worse moments will come. We may even go-ahead to laugh off topics like conflict resolution during any form of pre-marital counseling.

Many married couples can attest to the fact that keeping the vows especially in the worse times is not easy. We might have even contemplated leaving our marriages. Sometimes we may look at our spouses with great disappointment, wonder, and disbelieve that it is the same person we loved and committed to spending our lives with. I however want to encourage us that it is possible to hold on to the marriage vows, not because it's easy but it is worth it in the long term.

I will come back later with a few suggestions on how to hold onto our marriage vow for better or for worse.